Spring in England
by Mrs.A.x
Summary: Set before Carlisle left England. My take on why he left and why he understands Edward.


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Carlisle not long after he 'changed'. This is my idea of what made Carlisle want to leave England and why he understands Edward's situation. Based on the info in Twilight – so all stuffs from later books are irrelevant…Yay! Read on…

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Before I found Esme there was another. Her name was Anne and I killed her.

It was 1670; I had not been a vampire for long, 4 years to be exact. I had only just stopped trying to kill myself and begun my 'vegetarian' regime when I stumbled on her little village.

Spring had come to England, the countryside flourished and the village's stocks of sheep boomed. I had no intention of staying here for the weather was fortunately cloudy thus granting me an opportunity to travel indiscriminately.  
I was walking down a muddy lane when a gust of wind swept over the fields and bombarded with her scent. Even through the strong stink of her flock I could smell her, it was a delicate blend of husk, hay and a fragrant wildflower that I have not smelt since nor am able to name. Never before had I wanted a human more, not even while starving had I fought the urge to take her in every way imaginable.  
With queer detachment I watched her, safety hidden by an oak tree. She was small and slender; her skin was pale but healthy, like Alabaster, and slightly flushed from the morning's trek. From across the field I could hear her heart beat and it called to me, with every step it seemed to chant my name like a sultry mantra, her caramel hair billowing in the wind sending waves of her luscious aroma to me.  
I was torn. Part of me, and I don't know how dominant this part was, wanted to swiftly take her and end my thirst while the Human in me wanted nothing more than to touch her soft white skin and hear her sigh my name.

She drew closer, her defiant steps bearing down on my position, her smell getting stronger, her heart beating in my ears like a drum and my resistance growing ever weaker. She sat near the edge of her flock, the tedium of herding worn on her face like a mourning veil. Then in a moment's mistake she glanced up and say me, her eyes fixed on me in fascination.  
I do not know what passed between us but something aside my urges drew me to her. She showed no fear as I approached, her eyes were fixed on me, blissfully unaware how close she was to what would be her death. She stood to greet me. We stood in silence taken in by one another, her violet eyes tracing my every feature unable to hide their look of wonderment.  
"Hello" Her voice sung in my ears, like angels.  
"Hello, my name is Carlisle"  
"Anne" The angel replied. I whispered her name under my breath, too fast and quiet for her to hear, the syllables sending ripples of excitement and longing through my body.

After another silent exchange she invited me to sit and we talked until the sun grew old and the sky turned a golden hew before it heralded in another night. Quite frankly I was surprised that I had been able to control myself. For some insane reason I accompanied her home, to the farmhouse some fields away. By the time we reached the path leading up to the house it had quickly grown dark at an alarming rate and the air felt like ice in my lungs, even for one so cold as I. She lost her footing and grabbed my arm, oblivious to my icy skin or that the feel of her pounding heart was sending me over the edge. Her hand remained until we reached the house, she stopped us under a large, shadowed archway and bid me goodnight. We were concealed from the house, now would have been the perfect opportunity to take. She was in very real danger yet I couldn't bring myself to leave her and she lingered even though I was on the verge of loosing what little control I had.  
I purred a goodnight hoping I could escape but my words only enticed her further. She leaned into me and I senselessly obliged. The gentle parting kiss soon became a heated battle, my tongue glided into her mouth. Her lips tasted so good and all control I had was gone. She moaned against my lips, pooling warmth in the _other _part of me that craved her. My limbs grew tighter with each forced breath as her hands laced through my hair and clung to my back. I pinned her against the wall where her leg instinctively raised to my waist, the smell of her arousal swamping me like some wicked narcotic. True blood-lust possessed me as I broke the kiss to lavish attention on her neck, the soft skin here inviting the monster within me. She pressed herself to me, her persistence burning my reasoning. I kissed her neck, her delicate scent strong and skin tasting of the flower that eludes me, her pulse throbbing against my lips. I opened my mouth, my jaw prepared to clamp down on the soft flesh but then she sighed my name.  
The monster retreated and I was myself once more. I jumped back, the heat between us died and once more composure was in our possession. Hurriedly I said my final goodnights again but her scent was on me and a hunger like never before, gnawing at my core.

In the morning there were four sheep missing.

After that encounter I could not bring myself to leave the village, to leave her. I took residence in a local public house under the guise that I was a writer, travelling from county to county chronicling them as I went. Everyday I saw Anne, a passing glance if nothing else could be achieved. She was completely taken with me, I likewise with her. Regardless of the slight awkwardness left over from our first meeting, we could talk about everything and nothing for hours, then each time end the meeting in my nearly killing her and the devouring of three or four sheep. As you can imagine the coincidence of a mysterious stranger and disappearing sheep took little time to rouse suspicion. I heard me name whispered by strangers, "Werewolf", no doubt they noticed my smirk in response to the prospect of being ranked with flea-bags. There was little doubt in my mind that soon, just like in stories, the village would gather into a mob with the sole purpose of my destruction.  
Then another name came, "Cambion", a hybrid of human and Incubus, a rapist demon. Not entirely sure how the populous connected this form to the disappearing sheep but this speculation put my dear Anne in danger, not that she was in any less danger every time she was around me of course. However, I no longer had time to right that wrong.  
I had been in the village just over a week and outside it was particularly sunny. I had told the hostess that I had fallen ill so not to disturb me and currently found myself shut away in my room with the curtains closed. I had forbid myself from going outside regardless of my need. The separation was driving my senses into frenzy; without seeing her, my mind did nothing but think of her and how she tasted against my lips. A human synonym would need to relives yourself on a long journey, you try every distraction but ultimately you think of your dire need.  
She, of all people, could not see me for what I am.

As I settled into my third book a rap cam from my door. Before I could answer and send the intruder on their way, the door squealed against its hinges and at once I knew who sought me. Her heart beat was fast and erratic, she was afraid. However, when our eyes met I saw no notion of fear or dread gazing back at me. Anne smiled, relieved and happy to see me.  
Me of all people.  
I was a monster, all the thoughts in my head at that precise moment were all worthy of Dante's ninth circle. She pressed her hand to my forehead, her pulsing wrists inches from me.  
"You're as cold as death! You should be in bed"  
She commanded I obeyed. As I unnecessarily tucked myself beneath the sheets at her request I noticed she was approaching the curtains.  
"How can you read, it's so dark in here." She drew the curtain back; instinctively I leapt out of bed to stop her but even with my speed a streak of stray sunlight light hit my face. Maybe I wanted her to see, I was going to have to tell her at some time, just I had wished that it had been at my will and not by chance.  
I waited for the scream, the one that would alert the publicans and forecast my ruin. However, none came. Anne stood motionless by the window watching me like I had her the first day I laid eyes on her in the field. Then I heard the curtain rail rattle as she drew the curtain back further.  
"Your skin…" she began, stepping cautiously towards me. She stopped just in front of me.  
"It's…" she gently placed her hand on my exposed cheek only now did she notice the preternatural coldness of my skin. I sighed at the contact, my eyes downcast to avoid her aversion.  
"It's like snow."  
I met her gaze, placing my hand over hers.  
"Cold, white, sparkling" I silently gave permission as she slowly pulled the drawstring that kept my shirt firmly closed. I watched the anticipation grow in her eyes as the shirt hung loose. I pulled it over my head, I heard her gasp and panicked that I had offended her. But no, she stood amazed, watching the light reflecting off my skin.  
"Beautiful" it came out in a breathless gasp. I had bonded to her, long before now. But the irrefutable proof of it came in that bleak instant moment when I thought I may have lost her scared her away.  
Her warm fingertips closed around mine. She brought my hand between our bodies and pressed my palm against her chest. Through the soft fabric of her dress, her heart pounded strong and steady. I felt her breath flowing in and out of lungs, the warmth of her body seeping into my fingertips like a soothing balm.  
I took her hand and lifted it to my lips, a risky move considering how she tempted me; I placed a kiss on her soft fingertips, her warmth weaving a spell around me as only she could do. I brought her hand closer, pressing it to my chest to where there should have been a heavy throb, like a drum, against my ribs. She knew what I was, what I was capable of and yet she stayed.  
"I can't ever let you go, Anne. Whether you want it from me or not, you have my heart. You have my love, if you'll accept it."  
She swallowed hard. "What?"  
"I love you" My words were low and earnest, a caress I felt deep inside as the slipped from my lips.  
"Say it again" She whispered, needing to know that this moment was real, that it would last.  
"I love you Anne. With every ounce of what little life that remains in me, I love you."  
"Carlisle" She sighed my name, she huddled close into my chest, tears rising, swelling and spilling over to run down her cheeks. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her deeply, a passionate joining of our mouths that sent my senses spinning, her heart soaring, her blood pulsing like fire in her veins.  
I smiled, "God help me, but I will have no other. I've never wanted anything so selfishly as I want this moment. Be mine, Anne."  
"I am"  
I swallowed hard, glancing down now suddenly uncertain whether she truly grasped my situation.  
"I mean forever. I can't settle for anything less. Anne, I'm…" She pressed a finger to my lips cutting me off mid sentence.  
"Forever and always" she whispered, "I am yours, Carlisle, forever and always."  
Anne slowly turned from me, only when I eyed the bow holding her dress shut did I realise her intentions. Remember that it was usual for a person, both male and female, to remain a virgin till married, as a mortal I never married so not only was I fighting the rising frenzy but also the pressure of a first time. I tugged on the bow, unlacing the corseted ribbon till the bodice came loose allowing me to pull the dress away from her, slowly revealing her bare chest to me. My hand itched to touch her, so I did, brushing my fingertips along her buoyant curves, flicking my thumb over the dusty pink of her nipples. God help me, the soft mewl of pleasure that curled up from her throat was tempting me to painful degrees. She stood before me bare, save for an underskirt, my hands danced across her pure skin, my lips leaving a trail of kisses between her neck and shoulder. I cupped her breast then hesitated.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Giving you a chance to be penitent."  
She turned to face me and caught my lips with a kiss. Anne's kisses became more urgent, her fingers entwined in my hair. She nipped at my bottom lip and I would have obliged but still I held some reason and could not allow her, in her fervoured state, to come close to my teeth for obvious reasons. Her hands now grabbed at my back and I groaned against her lips as she pulled me close, pressing her bare breasts to my chest and her hot breath sending shivers through me. From here, even with her distracting kisses, I managed to remove her underskirt.  
What felt like molten lave surged through my empty veins at the sight of her nude before me. Maybe I should have felt guilty for finding her so incredibly desirable, even in her current vulnerable state, but I am no better at bowing to shame that I was at trying muster any kind of control around this particular woman.  
I gathered her into my arms, her arms wrapped around my shoulders holding her too me, her scent filling my lungs with her unique euphoric drug. I eased her onto the bed and she saw my eyes had turned black, shock affected her but only slightly as she realised my eyes told her of my desire. My eyes pleaded with her. Anne trailed a finger down the centre of my chest, caresses so light I wasn't sure she had even touched me until she began to trace the outline of my muscles and explore my cold skin. I moaned, a moan that turned into a sigh when she leaned in and kissed me. Her lips trailed down my neck and I felt her smile against my skin as my hands sank into her hair. She placed soft, wet kisses on my throat while her hands continued to caress my chest and stomach, one reaching further to press against my hard sex and begin removing my trousers. I was awed by her fascinated expression and the love that shone in her eyes as her hands wandered over me but she wasn't being fair, it was my turn.  
I stopped her, pushing her back to lie beneath me. I kissed her as she had me, slowly making my way down her body. The thud of her pulse pounding against my lips, her nipple swelled into a tight bud as I took it into my mouth while stroking her other breast. Above me she sighed and I caught the scent of her arousal. I continued down her body, causing her to utter the occasional sounds of satisfaction and surprise. I stroked the inside of her thigh, her legs opening like a book as my hand snaked up to the treasure it sought. My fingers teased over her slick cleft. Anne's face flushed into a moan as I pleased her; soon she was trembling beneath my touch. She gasped for air as I slipped a single finger inside her, then another stroking the part of her that drove her to delight. I could feel she was tight and she smelled so good. I ran my tongue over her entrance tasting her most intimate nectar, flicking my tongue over her clit. I moaned against her, it came like fire shooting through my entire body and pooled in the part of me that was now aching for her. I licked what remained on my lips, savouring her sweet taste and raised myself to look into her eyes.  
I had never felt a need like this, not even for blood. I thought I had desired her before but I was yet to feel something so strong as this. Every part of me ached for her. She stiffened when I pressed my lower half to her so she could feel how dangerously hard I had grown for her.  
"I will always love you" I whispered as I kissed the soft skin beneath her ear.  
"How can you be sure? No matter what fortune brings or time changes."  
"Time will not change me..."  
I penetrated her, sinking deep and slow until I felt the barrier of her virtue.  
"Or this." I thrust further, breaking through, joining our bodies in one smooth move. She stifled a small squeal against the crook of my neck. I remained still, my eyes closed, savouring the sensation of her hot warmth enveloping me. She kissed my neck and I began to move slowly, trying desperately to ignore the scant scent of blood interrupting the torrent of her luscious perfume. She had one hand fisted in my hair as I began to increase my pace, her other trailed down my back trying in vain to softly scratch at me to draw me closer. Anne's legs clung firmly to my hips as we fell into an equal rhythm. I claimed her lips in a kiss of passion and absolute love, nothing compared to the pleasure that came to me as we moved together.  
Our mutual moans filled the air; god knows what the publicans could hear! I pulled her into another kiss. I felt her gasp against my mouth, her heart racing on my chest and her muscles began to shudder around me with every thrust. I had to take a deep breath so not to succumb to my own release but she pulled me into yet another kiss, encouraging me forward which I responded to with enthusiasm. I began to move powerfully against her. Anne tensed and cried out my name, her muscles convulsing around me. With a final thrust I came undone, groaning into her ear and shuddering violently against her. My mind was lost to me and I could not stop the beast within from possessing me.

My jaw clamped down on her delicate neck, my tongue sapping her up, drawing her blood into my mouth. She tasted exquisite, her blood mixed with the traces of her 'nectar' swilling in my mouth. I had intended to turn her but away from the village where no one would hear her scream as the venom seeped through her body. Part of my mind, the human in me called to stop but was drowned out by the monster gorging on her blood.  
I felt her death as her heart slowed, her pulse dropping on my tongue. Only now did I hear the human. I tore away from her; I saw what I had done to her. She lay, her legs still raised at my sides, with her arms above her head. I watched as the bright violet in her eyes dimmed to the coming darkness and heard her final breath sigh, 'Carlisle', as she took my horrified face to her death.  
I had killed her.  
Cold and unresponsive, the look of questioning eternally painted on her features staring out to me like that of a goddess in a portrait. Never to be answered yet capable of stirring every negative emotion a vampire is able to possess.  
I had killed her.

I narrowly escaped the village; even at the risk of death I remained close. However, even in death I had offended her body. When her corpse was discovered the villagers did not grant her a clean, dignified burial, no they stuck lead into my bite marks and drove a stake through her heart because of a stupid superstition. Neither did they grant her proper burial ground, as her death had been 'unnatural' she was condemned to rest outside sacred ground. My thoughts on religion are as of yet undecided but if there is something beyond this world whatever it is, it is I who has condemned her to walk restlessly outside of 'God's grace'.  
After her burial, if you can call such a barbaric ceremony that, my mind was made to never again change another unless death was their other option. And also to leave England for ever or at least until her grave was lost through times natural progress. But even now I think I could find her with that same expression still painted on her face.

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**Well I hoped you liked it! I know I may have taken of liberties with Carlisle's character but oh well, don't forget to review!! x**


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